by Hannah De Cleene | Sep 28, 2023 | Literature
Oh that day.
No matter what circumstances come my way,
I will never forget that day.
The lot to offer incense finally fell to me;
Me, a priest advanced in years.
I could hardly believe that stunning decree,
But I heard my name loud and clear.
All at once, I had two thoughts:
One, God had extended mercy to me, His servant.
And two, this was the encouragement we sought—
Elizabeth’s faithful prayers had been so fervent.
But I must confess
The day did not go as I’d guessed.
As I entered all alone
A bright light appeared,
And my heart turned to stone
My eyes blinded by utter fear.
This is how my days will end
(or so I thought),
Then I heard what I could not comprehend.
This terrifying being knew my name,
And spoke to me. Was I going insane?
“Your prayers have been heard. You will have a son.”
A son? No. That dream had long passed
That part of our lives? That hope was done.
Yet his speech went on—everything happened so fast.
Not only did he know my name, but Elizabeth’s too.
He promised joy at our son’s birth
And gave instructions to guide this life of great worth.
He’d turn hearts of disobedience to the One who is true.
He’d be filled with the Spirit and walk in Elijah’s power.
After 400 years…was this the Messiah’s hour?
Not only did doubt creep into my heart
But dismay and disbelief would not depart.
From my view, this couldn’t be possible,
So I declared what I thought probable.
“I am old and so is my wife,
Can’t you see?
How could this come true in my life,
How could this possibly be?”
My words were rude and rash.
My fear had made me brash.
“I stand in the presence of the Almighty One.
You question not my ability but His.
You will indeed be gifted a son
But until then, your words will be none.
God’s promises are true
And His timing is never overdue.”
And just as quickly as he came, He was gone.
My mind filled with a thousand thoughts—
Had I really been in the wrong?
I felt both hopeful and distraught.
And just as he said, I could not speak.
My people understood I had seen a vision,
I felt confused and weak.
If all was to be as he decreed,
Would Elizabeth believe this wondrous provision?
by Hannah De Cleene | Aug 23, 2023 | Literature
I bring my angst to the LORD,
My tears bellow.
And my God hears me.
When everything is hopelessly heavy,
I look for His hand, but I cannot seem to find it.
I cry out all night without ceasing
(Aren’t we told to pray without ceasing?)
But I’m met with the imprisonment of my fears.
I ache for freedom, only to find bars of worry.
I strain to think of who my God is,
But I feel weak and utterly confused.
He is the One that gives breath,
Yet I have not the strength to utter a word.
I remember the days of seasons past.
The treasured truths I used to sing on dark nights
Are now transposed to a somber tune.
I’ve uncovered a hidden refrain,
I tremble to voice these words laced with pain.
Is the LORD disappointed in me?
Has He shut off His kindness?
Does He no longer see me?
Does He no longer care?
Have I failed so poorly that His love and grace no longer extend?
Will my fears be met with unending silence?
Will this night never end?
Stop. Soul, remember the mighty and majestic deeds of my God.
Your wonders, O God, know no bounds.
Your rescue of our people is threaded throughout our history.
Your ways are pure and untainted by our sin.
No idol can compare with Your Sovereign power.
You make the unimaginable come to life,
Display strength across the skies, and
Restore Your people, time and time again.
When the waters saw Your face,
They feared You.
The dark sea recognizes Your voice.
At Your command, the clouds follow Your direction
To guide Your people and guard against their foes.
The cracks of thunder and arrows of lighting show
Creation is at Your beck and call.
Your path is not peaceful
But a plunge into the mighty depths,
Without a wake to be traced.
Still, Your people are never misplaced.
By Your kindness, You led through men like Moses and Aaron, mere mortals like me.
You always mark the way for Your people to be free.
by Hannah De Cleene | Jul 17, 2023 | Theology
Old habits — we all have some unhelpful patterns that we’ve learned to break, haven’t we? From biting nails to eating too much junk food to refusing to make the bed, we’ve learned the value of making better decisions. But that didn’t happen overnight, and if we are not careful, slipping into those oh-so-familiar habits can become second nature at the drop of a hat. And the same could be said of us spiritually too.
In Deuteronomy 17, God gives clear instructions for what to do if Israel wants a king when they come into the land:
“When you come to the land that the Lord your God is giving you, and you possess it and dwell in it and then say, ‘I will set a king over me, like all the nations that are around me,’ you may indeed set a king over you whom the Lord your God will choose. One from among your brothers you shall set as king over you. You may not put a foreigner over you, who is not your brother. Only he must not acquire many horses for himself or cause the people to return to Egypt in order to acquire many horses since the Lord has said to you, ‘You shall never return that way again.’ And he shall not acquire many wives for himself, lest his heart turn away, nor shall he acquire for himself excessive silver and gold.”
Deuteronomy 17:14-17
Even though Israel was a distinct nation with God as their King, He knew they would someday want an earthly king and so gave them specific instructions through Moses. One thing I’d never noticed before: The king must not ever cause the people to return to Egypt because “the Lord has said to you, ‘You shall never return that way again.’”
God had delivered them from slavery in Egypt, but how many times did they want to go back, even on the journey to the promised land? And now, God is speaking through Moses to the people, “You shall never return that way again.”
The Draw of Egypt
Egypt is the past, the old life of slavery – remember they had cried out to God for deliverance – but when times got tough where did they want to go? Back to Egypt.
The warnings to the future king in Deuteronomy 17: Don’t go to Egypt for horses, don’t marry foreign wives, and don’t gather abundant silver and gold. These instructions were all violated by King Solomon, who, humanly speaking was the wisest man ever, but human wisdom didn’t help him when he disregarded the Word of God. Not only did he go to Egypt for horses, he made a marriage alliance with Egypt, and then proceeded to add wives, concubines, and all sorts of riches, leading his heart, and the nation, astray. Things continued downhill for Israel, as king after king followed his own ways, with the occasional bright spot – a king who followed God “with the whole heart.”
But, for Israel and Judah, running away was the standard. We see it clearly in Jeremiah 41 and 42. The remnant of God’s people were in captivity but rather than listen to the prophet Jeremiah, stay where they were, and trust God to care for them, the people determined to go to Egypt.
God said clearly, “Don’t go to Egypt.” But they did. And their fears – all the things God said would happen – found them in Egypt.
When it comes to our own fears, are we any different?
When things get hard, where do we run, to the Lord or back to our own Egypt – to things that enslaved me in the past but God has delivered me from, yet I’m tempted to run back to when I’m tired, overwhelmed, disappointed…where do I put my hope on the hard days?
The Danger of Our Own Egypt
If fear of man can clamor for our attention, we can be prone to compromise. We make decisions from a place of insecurity because we care more about pleasing people than God. Our identity has become more connected with what man says than God. And, if this sin goes unconfessed, the reaction becomes a consistent pattern, just like the Israelites turning to a human king rather than their Heavenly One.
Or maybe, when life gets overwhelming and bleak, we over-rely on ourselves. We decide we must pull ourselves up by our bootstraps and figure it out on our own instead of asking the Lord for wisdom and direction. In those moments, we exhaust all our human understanding before approaching the throne of grace (going directly against Proverbs 3:5-6 and Hebrews 4:16). And we forget the precious promises of the One who knows all things.
The Hope of Our True Homeland
God in Isaiah 43:2,
“When you pass through the
Waters, I will be with you;
and through the rivers, they shall
Not overwhelm you;
When you walk through fire you shall
Not be burned,
And the flame shall not consume
You.”
Jesus in Matthew 11:28-32,
“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you, and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy, and My burden is light.”
God delivered His people from Egypt and then led them through the wilderness to the Promised Land. Along the way, they were continually tempted to go back to Egypt, forgetting that there was no freedom there, only slavery.
We have been delivered by God the Father, through the life, death, burial, and resurrection of God the Son, and we have the promise of eternity with the Triune God. What an amazing promise! We are given freedom from the enslaving power of sin because of Jesus, but when times get hard, where do we go? To Jesus, who loves, comforts, and gives us rest, or to our old enslaving sin – back to Egypt?
By Your grace Lord, help me always run to You!
by Hannah De Cleene | Jun 19, 2023 | Literature
A new day begins.
The question is,
Who will win?
The battle is fierce
At the end of the day
I wonder — will I stand?
Will I hold fast to His commands?
Or with I fall
With no hope at all?
But this is not just my fight,
Nor do I stand by my might.
Every day I have a chance
To stand in the shadow of His holiness.
The Belt of Truth is firm,
Reminding me of what is, not what if’s.
The Breastplate of Righteousness protects my soul
For only by His love am I made whole.
The Shoes of the Gospel guard every step I take
For this journey is for His name’s sake.
The Shield of Faith protects me with His grace,
Repelling the drought of doubt
With the promise of His power.
The Helmet of Salvation preserves my mind.
His shepherding presence reminds me Whose I am.
The Sword of the Spirit strikes in all-knowing integrity,
His candor and conviction refine my heart.
And the persistence of prayer threads together each and every piece.
For this is His fight.
I stand in His might.
by Hannah De Cleene | Jun 1, 2023 | Literature
I bring all of who I am to the Creator.
To my King, the One in whom I find true confidence.
Don’t let me be disappointed by what You decree.
Don’t let the lies and deceit of my demons take the upper hand.
Surely You replace disappointment with unrelenting hope.
Those who look to their own savior will always be left wanting.
Don’t leave me to my own devices. Direct me in Your footsteps.
Push and pull me until I walk in step with Your kind shadow.
Shepherd me with Your faithfulness, for You alone can mold me in truth.
Call to mind Your promise of compassion and deeds of unchanging love, my King, for they have been established long ago.
Call not to mind my failures, the days I followed lesser rulers and sought futile treasures.
By the decree of Your kindness and law of relentless love, see me as Your own kin.
Pure and trustworthy is this King,
That is why He schools the feeble in His ways.
He trains those who know they are lost without Him.
He guides those who are willing to follow Him without abandon.
Every byway and passage He opens, down to the last faint trail,
Are His avenues of grace, to those who cling to and live by His promises.
For the reputation of Your title,
Declare me free from the weight of my sins.
For only when man sees the unparalleled character of the King’s kind authority
Will He unveil the next right step.
All of who he is will be sheltered by His protection,
And his family shall dwell in security.
The secret counsel of the King is for those who cherish and revere His rule,
To those He divulges the depths of His promises.
My gaze is forever fixed on the King.
He will provide a bridge for every barricade.
My King, see me. Show me Your tender care.
For I am on the island of melancholy and misery.
The anguish of my soul swells.
Reclaim my heart.
Give attention to the distress of my trials,
And pardon each and every one of my failures.
Give attention to my adversaries.
They despise me and want to see me fail.
Preserve and protect my heart.
Don’t let me be disappointed, for I am putting all my confidence in You.
I watch for Your arrival.
Restore us.
Revoke our wanderings and replace our fears with the joy of Your presence.
