Old habits — we all have some unhelpful patterns that we’ve learned to break, haven’t we? From biting nails to eating too much junk food to refusing to make the bed, we’ve learned the value of making better decisions. But that didn’t happen overnight, and if we are not careful, slipping into those oh-so-familiar habits can become second nature at the drop of a hat. And the same could be said of us spiritually too.
In Deuteronomy 17, God gives clear instructions for what to do if Israel wants a king when they come into the land:
“When you come to the land that the Lord your God is giving you, and you possess it and dwell in it and then say, ‘I will set a king over me, like all the nations that are around me,’ you may indeed set a king over you whom the Lord your God will choose. One from among your brothers you shall set as king over you. You may not put a foreigner over you, who is not your brother. Only he must not acquire many horses for himself or cause the people to return to Egypt in order to acquire many horses since the Lord has said to you, ‘You shall never return that way again.’ And he shall not acquire many wives for himself, lest his heart turn away, nor shall he acquire for himself excessive silver and gold.”
Even though Israel was a distinct nation with God as their King, He knew they would someday want an earthly king and so gave them specific instructions through Moses. One thing I’d never noticed before: The king must not ever cause the people to return to Egypt because “the Lord has said to you, ‘You shall never return that way again.’”
God had delivered them from slavery in Egypt, but how many times did they want to go back, even on the journey to the promised land? And now, God is speaking through Moses to the people, “You shall never return that way again.”
The Draw of Egypt
Egypt is the past, the old life of slavery – remember they had cried out to God for deliverance – but when times got tough where did they want to go? Back to Egypt.
The warnings to the future king in Deuteronomy 17: Don’t go to Egypt for horses, don’t marry foreign wives, and don’t gather abundant silver and gold. These instructions were all violated by King Solomon, who, humanly speaking was the wisest man ever, but human wisdom didn’t help him when he disregarded the Word of God. Not only did he go to Egypt for horses, he made a marriage alliance with Egypt, and then proceeded to add wives, concubines, and all sorts of riches, leading his heart, and the nation, astray. Things continued downhill for Israel, as king after king followed his own ways, with the occasional bright spot – a king who followed God “with the whole heart.”
But, for Israel and Judah, running away was the standard. We see it clearly in Jeremiah 41 and 42. The remnant of God’s people were in captivity but rather than listen to the prophet Jeremiah, stay where they were, and trust God to care for them, the people determined to go to Egypt.
God said clearly, “Don’t go to Egypt.” But they did. And their fears – all the things God said would happen – found them in Egypt.
When it comes to our own fears, are we any different?
When things get hard, where do we run, to the Lord or back to our own Egypt – to things that enslaved me in the past but God has delivered me from, yet I’m tempted to run back to when I’m tired, overwhelmed, disappointed…where do I put my hope on the hard days?
The Danger of Our Own Egypt
If fear of man can clamor for our attention, we can be prone to compromise. We make decisions from a place of insecurity because we care more about pleasing people than God. Our identity has become more connected with what man says than God. And, if this sin goes unconfessed, the reaction becomes a consistent pattern, just like the Israelites turning to a human king rather than their Heavenly One.
Or maybe, when life gets overwhelming and bleak, we over-rely on ourselves. We decide we must pull ourselves up by our bootstraps and figure it out on our own instead of asking the Lord for wisdom and direction. In those moments, we exhaust all our human understanding before approaching the throne of grace (going directly against Proverbs 3:5-6 and Hebrews 4:16). And we forget the precious promises of the One who knows all things.
The Hope of Our True Homeland
God in Isaiah 43:2,
“When you pass through the
Waters, I will be with you;
and through the rivers, they shall
Not overwhelm you;
When you walk through fire you shall
Not be burned,
And the flame shall not consume
Jesus in Matthew 11:28-32,
“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you, and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy, and My burden is light.”
God delivered His people from Egypt and then led them through the wilderness to the Promised Land. Along the way, they were continually tempted to go back to Egypt, forgetting that there was no freedom there, only slavery.
We have been delivered by God the Father, through the life, death, burial, and resurrection of God the Son, and we have the promise of eternity with the Triune God. What an amazing promise! We are given freedom from the enslaving power of sin because of Jesus, but when times get hard, where do we go? To Jesus, who loves, comforts, and gives us rest, or to our old enslaving sin – back to Egypt?
By Your grace Lord, help me always run to You!
January and February are, for the average Midwesterner, long, cold months. But this year, I experienced one of my most treasured adventures with the Lord during these months.
Six weeks in a new country with a family I barely knew might sound like a disaster waiting to happen, but that could not be further from the truth in this case.
I loved every minute of this trip.
A month and a half later I am still reminiscing about all the Lord taught me and in awe of how attentive He is to our prayers.
PRAY THE UNLIKELY PRAYERS
In January 2021, I got alone with the LORD to pray for the new year. I spent a solid 36 hours by myself. No phone, no people, just me, my journal, the Word, and some solace with my Father. I had just finished grad school, a major accomplishment. But I didn’t know what was next. What prayers should I even pray?
So I just started writing. I penned a few ideas that I thought, just maybe, God could use somehow. I asked the Lord to direct so that any hopes and dreams on the page would align with the story He wanted to write.
One of the sweetest gifts the Lord has given me is this: I’ve been able to see firsthand how He works in different countries and cultures. Missions will always be near and dear to my heart, as are missionaries. I asked the Lord if there would be a way He could use the heart for missions He gave me along with the gift of singleness. Maybe there would be a way I could go and encourage and live life with a few of them somehow, someway.
This wasn’t a prayer I prayed often, but from time to time, the idea would come to mind. A year and a half later, God opened a bigger door than I imagined. I got to spend time with missionaries, and my dad and I even got to do this trip together. How cool is that?
LIFE IS BETTER TOGETHER
Before I made my journey to Sol de la Molina (the name of the neighborhood), my normal everyday consisted of working in my home by myself. Yes, sometimes I worked at coffee shops, but for the most part, I worked diligently in my quiet, home office. I was a tad nervous as to how well I could work in a house full of people (and two giant dogs). Would I fall behind?
The opposite turned out to be true.
From quick chats while I made my coffee to family lunches to jogs after work, good conversations threaded the entire day. They weren’t distractions but connectors, a constant reminder that life was not all about me or my responsibilities.
Yes, God calls us to be faithful in the jobs He gives us, but without seeing it, I had made my job too central. A little bit of my identity started to get wrapped up in how well I could do in my work and what feedback I received from managers and clients – all thoughts that focused on myself.
However, in Lima, I became an adopted big sister, daughter, and dear friend. We did life together in a way that brought joy and encouragement that I still struggle to put into words. We helped each other, whether it was making a meal or trying to figure out how to write an essay on math, we jumped in to help. We served together, we laughed together, we prayed together, and we stayed up late watching movies together. Without even realizing it, work became less stressful and burdensome, even with the extra responsibilities I received at that time.
SAYING YES IS SCARY BUT WORTH IT
One of my prayers was that I would jump in wherever needed in my six weeks. The reality was, I didn’t have a clue what that would be like.
A few days into the trip, I was asked if I could do some teaching for the young adult women’s study. I said yes, then immediately this fearful thought: “I just said yes to something I’ve never done. What am I thinking!?”
Teaching is a joy, and I’ve been able to share in various capacities over the years, but never like this—completely in Spanish. How was this going to go?
I knew the Spirit wanted me to say yes, but that didn’t take the nerves away. I often thought of one of my favorite Elisabeth Elliot quotes, “Sometimes the fear does not subside and you must do it afraid.”
And that fear kept me coming back to the Lord. I didn’t know exactly how to say what I wanted, I didn’t remember how to conjugate all the verbs correctly, and the list went on. But God. God wanted me to trust Him and take the next step.
And can I tell you teaching was one of my highlights! I still got nervous every time, but I loved sharing the truth from the Word, and God gave me the grace for that day. Obedience often isn’t glamorous but in the eyes of the Lord, our obedience is always beautiful. It’s an outward demonstration that we trust Him and want to walk in His ways, even when we can’t see exactly what’s going on.
GOD DOESN’T NEED ME BUT WANTS TO USE ME
Did God need me to go to Peru? No. But He wanted me to. He wanted to use me.
Years ago I read John Piper’s poem on Job, and there is this line that replays often in my mind: “God is kind in ways that will not fit my mind.”
God is the creator of the world, the Sovereign One who holds time in His hand. And, He knows My name. He’s given me experiences that He alone orchestrated. And He wants to keep using me, just like He wants to use you.
God gave me a childhood in South America, an opportunity to learn Spanish at a young age, an enjoyment in living in different cultures, an excitement to travel, and a sweet season of singleness, just to name a few things. He did all of that. No one has pursued me like the Lord. No one knows my life and heart like the Lord, including my own sinful, selfish heart. And yet He still loves me because that is who He is.
I hope we never move on from being in awe of who He is and what He’s done. And I pray others may see His beauty and character as we walk in obedience in any opportunity He puts before us.
For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.
Every facet of life (work, responsibilities, relationships) brings its own stress, but some of us put an exorbitant amount of pressure on ourselves in every, and I mean every, area. Why do we do that?
That’s a question I have been asking myself a lot lately. Why do I put SO much pressure on myself to hit deadlines, follow up with every email, and stay on top of all my tasks? Why do I only feel really good about my to-do list if I can get a little bit ahead (overachiever alert)?
Instead of just saying “Oh my goodness, I feel overwhelmed” I think we have to dig a bit deeper. Yes, certain seasons may be uncharacteristically hard for reasons far beyond our control (family illness, job layoffs, etc.), but those aren’t the scenarios I am zeroing in on.
I am talking about the everyday pressures that add up over time, and before we know it we feel over our heads, frantic, and unsure of our next steps – we spiral fast! We form ongoing mental dialogues and create insurmountable narratives that leave us exhausted and hopeless.
Why We Carry the Weight of the World On Our Shoulders
If I can’t keep up, I don’t have worth.
There’s one line in the song “Surface Pressure” from Encanto that, since I’ve watched this movie many times with my nieces, sticks out to me every time. “I’m pretty sure I’m worthless if I can’t be of service.” While it may sound dramatic, I teared up the first time I heard it because that’s so often my mentality. I just don’t want to admit it, to myself or others.
If I don’t do this perfectly, “they” are going to be so disappointed in me.
It’s easy to get off track because serving others and staying on top of responsibilities are admirable actions, right? Yes, but somewhere along the way, we start becoming the solution to everyone’s problem. Sometimes I think our fear goes deeper than we realize: If I don’t go above and beyond, I won’t be seen.
If I don’t work REALLY hard (run myself into the ground), I am not trying hard enough.
Busyness does not equal significance, but we wear it like a badge. This can stem from a lack of saying “No” to things. God calls us to be faithful, not the Energizer bunny. Sometimes being busy is easier in the moment because then we don’t have to deal with our own hearts. Are we angry about a situation? Disappointment in a friend? Trying to avoid making some important life decisions?
All three lines of thought overlap. Do you see the main commonality in all of them? Each fear places the self at the center. And when we try to be self-sufficient saviors to our daily problems, we feel weighed down.
What Does This Show About Our Theology?
At first this question might seem like a leap but stick with me. When we follow the narratives above, we are inherently saying what we believe about God in that moment. And this is sobering.
If I can’t keep up, I don’t have worth = My identity in Christ is not sufficient.
God has given us all roles, in our jobs, families, friendships, and even in the gifts He’s given us. However, when we begin to tie our identity to any one of those, we are setting ourselves up for failure.
If I don’t do this perfectly, they will be so disappointed in me = The opinion of people matters more than God’s.
Colossians 3:3 tells us our life is hidden in Christ. In Ephesians 1, Paul tells us how believers are chosen and adopted into God’s family. That is where our security stems from, at least should. That doesn’t negate the importance of working hard or investing intentionally in people. It does take away the angst of trying to keep up with the unrealistic expectations we put on ourselves. We cannot be more accepted than. we already are in Christ.
Does the opinion of a person matter more than God’s? If so, we will always be swinging for the fences. Praise and encouragement have their place (Hebrews 10:24-25), however, if we aim to please people (the exact opposite of 2 Cor 5:9), other imperfect broken people, our efforts will never be enough. Yet we still try, and before we know it, we are putting our talents into a vending machine that never gives us what we ask for.
His delight is not in the strength of the horse, nor His pleasure in the legs of a man, but the LORD takes pleasure in those who fear Him, in those who hope in His steadfast love.
If I don’t work really hard, I am not trying enough = Christ’s work wasn’t sufficient.
The lives of believers are to be marked by peace, as Paul so beautifully states.
And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful.
The peace that comes from Christ stems from the life He lived for us. When we complain, He lived in joyful obedience. When we doubt, He trusted His Father completely. When we selfishly choose our own way, He sacrificed His life. When we fear we will keep failing, He rose from the dead to show He was greater than our sin. That’s where peace comes from.
And the work of Christ is complete, nothing can be added or subtracted from the sufficiency of His sacrifice.
Unlike those other high priests, he does not need to offer sacrifices every day. They did this for their own sins first and then for the sins of the people. But Jesus did this once and for all when he offered himself as the sacrifice for the people’s sins.
In each lie, we are forgetting Who God is, and, in some shape or form, trying to be the solution to all our problems. That’s when the pride of perfectionism sneaks in. But the position of Messiah has already been filled, and it’s not us!
So how do we fight the pesky pride of perfectionism? We press in and know our God better. As J.I. Packer said in Knowing God:
There is no peace like the peace of those whose minds are possessed with full assurance that they have known God, and God has known them, and that this relationship guarantees God’s favor to them in life, through death and on forever.
Words escape you. The leaders you trusted let you down. The reasons vary, as do the weight of those scenarios. You, like many in Christian circles, have experienced church hurt. But the question is, “now what?” Do you ignore the hurt and pretend like everything is ok? Do you tell everyone you know, so they will understand how you’ve been wronged? While our gut reactions may initially lean in one of those ways, those emotional responses still leave us with unresolved aches and wounds that time does not heal. In fact, they can grow worse or infected. How do we walk through church hurt? How can God use that in our lives?
The Blind Side
However complex or hurtful the scenario, one commonality is this: we didn’t see it coming. The pastors and leaders we confided in, trusted, and admired, committed an act we never anticipated. But sometimes in that mountain of emotion, we experience a shame that’s hard to put into words, especially at the onset. Why didn’t we see this coming? How did we miss the signs? Am I too trusting of people, of church leaders? Did all of this really happen or are things being blown out of proportion? We have questions. We may even be in denial of what has happened, trying to lessen the reality/pain of the situation.
Admit what’s been hurtful.
When church leaders step down or are asked to step down, everyone has questions; everyone is taken aback by the unexpected turn of events. Some situations are public with clear reasons, and others are vague and confusing. Maybe a church leader acted in a hurtful way, said sincerely unkind words, or held people to too high of a standard. Perhaps, as one of the singles in the church, you’ve been overlooked time and time again by the leaders who, from the stage, confess that every person in every season of life has a valuable place in the church. Or further still, maybe they grievously sinned against you and others in a way that requires confession and restoration if the church has any hope of continuing.
In short, their words didn’t match their actions. The question is, have you expressed to the Lord why the situation holds such weight or anger for you? For many of us, someone we trusted and confided in, someone we looked up to as an example, failed. We feel the pangs of sincere disappointment.
But how we respond to the hurt makes all the difference.
Grieve with the Lord
The Lord is near to all who call upon Him in truth (Ps.145:18). However messy or cynical we may feel, we must acknowledge those feelings to the Lord. In situations like this, that’s easier said than done. But healing can’t come if we don’t expose the wound to our Physician. What we need most are not explanations or even apologies from those who have wronged us (although the Lord deeply values reconciliation). Our Heavenly Father is the only one that can provide lasting healing.
But we often push against this because it’s vulnerable. We often like to feel in control of our own emotions and thoughts, but the Psalms teach us to pray through our emotions. David said in Psalm 25, “My problems go from bad to worse. Oh, save me from them all! Feel my pain and see my trouble.” Later, in chapter 88, the psalmist ends by saying darkness is his closest friend. God wants the raw and the messy, for in so doing we are trusting the Lord with all our heart and not leaning on our own understanding.
Examine Our Own Hearts
Bitterness and resentment can often be hard to see in the middle of such a trial, but the temptation to pass the buck comes so naturally to our sinful hearts. Excuses begin. We no longer want to come to church, to open up in our small group, to serve. Maybe we just need a break from church.
Those are serious warning signs for us to examine, probing some further examination. Am I coming to church to follow men or to follow Jesus? Sin needs to be dealt with, and leaders need to be held accountable for their wrongs. God deeply cares about us having the right leaders – they should be trustworthy people (just look at the list of qualifications in 1 Tim. 3!). But is it possible my dependence on human leaders has exceeded my dependence on God and His Word?
As with any trial, we must ask ourselves if we trust God in His sovereignty. The reality is, however hurtful or complicated the situation, God allowed us to experience it. Does that reality bring comfort or anger? The answer reveals the current posture of our hearts. But oh what security comes from resting in God’s sovereignty.
The reality of God’s sovereignty is the fear-incinerating, boldness-making, perseverance-producing antidote to everything that would ever trouble us. Adam Ramsey, Truth on Fire
The Bad Doesn’t Erase the Good
One complex element of church hurt people experience is the realization, in the aftermath, that some significant, life-changing events occurred during their time in that church: they came to Christ, their mentor baptized them there, they received Gospel-centered counseling that brought rich healing, they experienced the beauty of the godly community… those precious chapters in our lives don’t become any less valuable. Hurt can add complexity to certain memories, but that doesn’t erase the fruit God produced in us during that season.
Do you feel like we live in the shadow of grief? We are inundated with updates and videos of the latest heartbreak. We are exposed to tragedies and yet not directly involved in the situation. There’s this unexplainable cloud of doom that hangs over our heads. What do we do with that?
The last month has been filled with shooting accounts all over the country, but this week it hit close to home. When pastors you know and trust lead the grieving community through a prayer service, when friends and neighbors are the law enforcement officers called to the scene, when you’ve walked the church grounds and know the exact parking lot of the latest gun violence, the wind gets knocked out of you. This sobering reality is an unwelcomed combination of fear, grief, and shock all at once.
What is the world coming to? When will all this end? These questions permeate our daily conversations more and more. Whether it’s the horror stories of the war in Ukraine, the devastating shooting in Uvalde, or the heartbreak that happened in our own backyard this week, we aren’t reading chapters of tragic history- we are living in the pages of them.
As Christ-followers, how do we respond? What do we do?
There’s a temptation to run, run away from emotions we don’t want to face. Naturally, we need time to sit and be still – that’s part of the process. But if we aren’t careful, we can seek to numb or lessen the pain in unhealthy patterns.
In the last few days, I’ve moved a little slower. I haven’t had great prayer sessions with the Lord, haven’t uncovered silver linings to these headlines to assuage the questions inside my soul. I find myself sitting, zoning out at the wall in front of me, asking:
- I don’t know these victims personally, yet I am deeply sad – what does grief look like for the observer?
- How do we question what God allows and trust Him at the same time?
- What if I don’t even know what it means to grieve well?
- How do we honor those directly impacted and still go on with life? How do we know when it’s ok to laugh and smile again?
- What about the families of the shooters – how must they be feeling?
- Are we just to expect more and more stories like the ones unfolding around our country?
- How do we not forget sobering life lessons weeks and months from now?
Those are just a snapshot of what’s racing through my head. Yet we are not the first ones in history to ask these sorts of questions, nor the only ones fearful of an unknown future. In a time of peril, facing an overwhelming foe, King Jehoshaphat brought this honest plea before the Lord:
O our God, will you not execute judgment on them? For we are powerless against this great horde that is coming against us. We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on You. 2 Chronicles 20:12
That’s what we do, we keep our eyes on our unshakeable God. Isaiah tells us Christ bears our griefs and carries our sorrows (Isa. 53). In our affliction, He is afflicted (Isa. 63:9). He is near to those who are crushed in spirit (Ps. 34:18). He weeps at death (John 11:33). He is ever-present in times of despair. And so we press into His character. He is not surprised. He never grows weary (Isa. 40:28).
And we must carry the depths of our sorrow to His throne. In his recent message on lament and hope, Matt Chandler brings up a well-known and treasured verse: “Casting all your care on Him, for He cares for you.” (1 Peter 5:7) Casting is an ongoing and continual action. We are called to come to Him often and leave nothing out.
But what happens if we stop bringing Him our cares? If we don’t express our anger at the injustice of innocent lives being lost, we will be consumed with hatred. If we don’t give Him our disappointment, we will turn into perpetual cynics. And if we don’t give Him our sadness, we will drown out joy and hope from our lives.
These are dismal and dark days, but God wants all of us, including our big emotions and sobering questions. Psalm 145:18 says “the Lord is near to all those who call upon Him in truth.” How can we know the nearness of God if we are not being honest about the struggles in our hearts?
As Mark Vance so beautifully stated at the prayer service for Eden Montang and Vivian Flores,
“We’re going to celebrate the resurrection with tears. We’re going to trust in the God who is bigger than our pain. We aren’t going to act like our pain isn’t real—it is. But we also aren’t going to act like God isn’t real—because He is.”
We grieve. We ask our questions. We love those around us through crying, through silence, in every layer of this emotional journey. God has called us to live in such a time as this, and yet our hope is not anchored in this life. We are anchored to the One who will finally bring us home one day.
I heard a loud shout from the throne, saying, “Look, God’s home is now among his people! He will live with them, and they will be his people. God himself will be with them. He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever.”
You are more intimidating than you realize. As a single Christian female, I’ve heard this comment more than once. That statement most often comes from older, Christian brothers in my life; the words are said with the kindness of intentions. They are attempting to offer encouragement as I walk through singleness longer than anyone anticipated, myself included. But still, those words cast shadows of doubt and confusion. Why? Because of the unintended implications.
You are too much for a guy to handle—that’s the first fear that enters my mind after these conversations. It’s as if to say that, because I unashamedly (although not perfectly) pursue Christ, I somehow overwhelm Christian men because they couldn’t lead someone like me. But if men are impressed by anything, shouldn’t it be a women’s walk with Jesus and not just her beauty or fun personality? Maybe it’s a good thing for men to be somewhat intimidated by women’s pursuit of Christ? As a complementarian, I desire to follow the lead of a God-fearing man, but isn’t Christ-like leadership more about humility and serving than about being stronger? (Phil 2). In her article on daughters and dating, Jen Wilkin’s states,
“Leadership is not about the strong looking for weaker people to lead. It’s about the humble looking for those whose strengths offset their weaknesses and complement their strengths. Strong leaders surround themselves with strong people, not with weak ones.”
You can handle singleness better than most. After some years, certain friends started to assume I no longer struggled with singleness since my outward demeanor appeared confident and content (which apparently can come across as intimidating too). The truth is, I genuinely regard this season as a gift; my walk with the Lord is personal and dear because of my single years. But it’s still hard. A strong walk with Christ doesn’t mean singleness is without heartache. Sometimes people think women who cherish their relationship with the Lord aren’t bothered by these things.
In the local church, I believe all of us (both single and married) can improve our communication as we do life together. Here are some conversations I believe would be more helpful.
Singleness is good and hard at the same time. Single women can be grateful and sorrowful, investing their time well while still asking the Lord for a gospel-centered relationship. Praying hopeful prayers for both singleness and marriage creates a better balance because we are both casting our cares on the Lord (1 Peter 5:7) and actively trusting God will make the path clear for our lives (Proverbs 3:5-8). Instead of only asking “So who are you dating? ask your single friends questions like: “How’s work going?” or “How are you doing?” That frees your friend to talk about what’s really on her heart.
Singleness isn’t solely dependent on our decisions. God is still sovereign, and single women can trust His timing. When the initial questions are “Have you tried this dating app?” or “Have you considered moving to a big city?” in essence, people are saying, “Have you tried hard enough?” Could God use a dating site or a big city? Absolutely. At the same time, He could bring the right person into someone’s life who lives in a country town and has never once created an online profile. The better question is, “Are we investing our God-given gifts?” Paul exhorts Timothy to fan into flame God’s gifts, without living in fear (2 Tim 1:6-7). Whatever it is— studying art therapy, earning a seminary degree, or starting a business—mature believers should be encouraging and admonishing women to follow God’s call on their lives. If God can shut the mouths of lions and feed the 5,000, He can certainly bring the right man and woman together when He deems best.
You don’t have to slow down for men to catch up. Once women start to get into their late 20s and 30s, they hear less of “Wait for God’s timing” and more of “Are you being too picky?” However, just because some women have to wait longer does not mean they are doing something wrong. Yet, that is exactly how it feels when bombarded with unhealthy questions. On occasion, when I sit down to talk with my mom after a particularly trying day, she often looks at me and says, “Honey, you know you aren’t doing anything wrong, don’t you?” My mother is not saying I am sinless, but she is reminding me that God’s good gifts are dependent on His character, not my performance (James 1:17). Walking boldly with Christ alone is far better than “settling.”
Single women can rest assured they are never “too much” for the Lord, nor are they ever forgotten. He is always at work in our lives (Phil. 1:6) and Paul again gives Timothy a beautiful challenge with this phrase: “But godliness with contentment is great gain…”(I Tim. 6:6 ). The more single women walk with Christ, the better leaders and servants they will be to those around them, whether that’s in the local church, in the business world, with the lost, or with a future husband. God has good works for His daughters to walk in (Eph. 2:10) and, through singleness or marriage, He will do far beyond what we can imagine (Eph. 3:20).