Growing up, I was well-known, Being from the line of Aaron Every marriage and birth was a celebrated milestone; No one ever breathed the word “barren.”
When Zechariah and I married, We spoke of our hopes and dream, Even how many years would pass between Each boy and girl I would wean.
Of course, the first boy would be Zechariah, Then we thought of Elijah and Josiah, Boys who would learn the prophecies of the Messiah. And then Abigail, Deborah, even Hannah, Girls who’d learn how God provided with divine manna.
But when ten years of marriage passed, Sadness and fear loomed more and more. Could barrenness be what God had in store? That’s the question I never wanted to ask: What had I done wrong? I tried to follow His ways all along.
Each morning we knelt on our knees, Begging Yahweh to hear our plea. As I waited, I thought of our people Longing for the Deliverer to set us free.
From others, I hid my tears of lament. Yet I wondered at the LORD’s intent. Would I trust the hand of my God When everything in life seemed terribly flawed? Every day I had a choice: To live in despair or listen to truth preached from the prophets of old. Would I believe all they foretold?
I did my best to make peace with my lot, Tried not to let the looks of pity or judgment pierce. Still— Some days I felt like God’s blind spot.
The Maker does things just as He ought. The clay cannot say “Why did you make me this pot?” Though, my people have a history of that very thinking. So when my sisters welcomed grandchildren home Yahweh’s promises kept me from sinking. Even as tears welled when I sat all alone
When Zechariah came home that day, I knew something extraordinary had occurred. He grabbed his tablet to display The message from Gabriel, every single word.
As I read “Elizabeth will bear a son,” My heart was completely undone. What if our waiting hadn’t been misplaced? What if our delays would bring unspeakable grace? (verse slide) After a few months, it became clear The impossible was our reality, God was melting away my fear And hope came to life that year.
I kept to myself for a few months more, Delighting in the unfolding of this wondrous gift. I felt God’s favor like never before, The clouds of silence were about to lift.
There’s a story that stands out from the rest. And it’s one I like to hear best, For never was there a friendship like Naomi and Ruth, Founded on acts of selflessness and truth.
Doubt led the family to sojourn far From the land of their own community. The promises of Yahweh felt below par, And faithless disobedience sowed disunity. They abandoned all they knew, Somehow hoping to make do.
While doing right in their own eyes, Ruth joined this family in distress, Not knowing how she would impact their lives With her bold, unmatched kindness.
Then, heartache struck without end, One by one, their men were no more. Without children to depend and defend, Barrenness was the gift God had in store.
Yet Ruth did not melt in despair. Instead of fretting about a new mate, She committed her life to Naomi’s care, Trusting Yahweh would see to their fate. Bitterness nor silence changed her mind. She knew what to do with her time.
Unassuming and unnoticed, she walked out the door. God-fearing trust led her to the field, Believing someone would heed the law for the poor, She had no idea the harvest Providence would yield.
Boaz took notice of her tireless labor And provided for her mother-in-law’s care. Her obedience gained this man’s favor, Yet they were both unaware How their unlikely conversation Would bring hope to countless generations.
At this news, Naomi’s bitterness turned aside, Perhaps Yahweh had not forsaken her forever. With Ruth, she began to converse and confide As God began to weave all the pieces together.
This time Naomi stepped out with determination, Seeking rest and comfort for her dear friend. “All you say I will do” Ruth replied, no hesitation. Then all that unfolds is hard to comprehend.
Boaz became her cherished husband, Carrying on the name of the deceased. A man of character on whom she could depend, For God’s handiwork had never ceased.
All the details lined up just right. Naomi’s friendship with her daughter-in-law Showed God’s redemption had never been out of sight. The union of this couple had the whole town in awe.
Naomi helped Ruth find her new home, Where she took on the roles of wife and mother. The whole family experienced God’s shalom. Truly, their friendship was like no other.
God’s redemption felt hidden behind the clouds. Dark days that seemed to never end. But God had a purpose in what He allowed, His harvest is one that transcends Every doubt we conceive And every trial we grieve.
This is the beauty of their story, Their friendship revealed God’s glory. For He is the Friend that stands out from all the rest He is the one who loves each of us best.
A small word that starts a simple question. But add if, and we create a whole world of tension. We build these collections of unknowns Founding the most unwanted, unwelcomed conditions.
We ask ourselves questions like…
What if the answer never comes, or what if it’s the dreaded outcome? What if I stay invisible in the background? What if my load causes me to drown? What if my waiting never ends? What if that friendship never mends? What if the healing never appears? What if my path is lonely and unclear? What if ALL my hopes lead to utter disappointment? WHAT IF?
Oh my friends, Our questions require a keen adjustment. Replace the f with an s and you’ll find That the Father teaches us a different composition. What IS far outweighs the what-if position In Christ, what is gives life new definition.
As a treasured possession of our Creator, He chose us with unprompted favor. He marked out our path before the horizon of time. He loved us first, without reason or rhyme. When we trust Him, He redeems us forever from our rebel endeavors. God trades our sin for Christ’s perfection, gracing us with such kind intentions. He gives us a glorious inheritance as our hearts become His permanent residence.
So when those what-ifs creep at our door, Who He is will always promise more.
What if the answer never comes? He is right beside me. His presence never disappears. What if to others I remain invisible? He is in my corner. Forgotten by Him? Impossible. What if my efforts come up short? He is my advocate, declaring me clear in heaven’s court. What if my waiting never ends? He is my unwavering strength, the truest of friends. What if the healing never comes and I end my days alone? He is my unchanging goodness, my sure cornerstone.
My friends, don’t you see? No matter the question, the privilege of Christ is always worth the price. What is forever outweighs the what-if position For Christ IS life’s true definition.
Should I go left or should I go right? If I go left I’ll be in a place strange and new. If I turn right, some people will put up a fight. How? How will I know what to do?
If I keep on straight, will life stay the same, Or if step back will my plans go up in flames?
I think so deeply about my actions, I am blinded to these pondering distractions, Terrified my choices will be made in error. When did I forget I am an image-bearer?
I may be a writer, a friend, and many other things. But these simply surface what people see. The fact is I am a child of the King. How quickly I forget this royal decree.
When I placed my trust in Christ years ago, He claimed me as His very own. Each day He delights in helping me grow. Each care and worry to Him is known.
Who is this King on mine?
He was there when it all began. The heavens and billions of stars? Yes, that was Him—all part of His plan, As was the beautiful creation of man.
Adam and Eve tried to de-god the true God, And although their choice left an everlasting stain, The promised Son would bear the brunt of the rod, Sacrificing Himself to free man from sin’s chain.
He has been present in every page of history. No chapter has ever surprised Him. Every line of what was, is, and will be is part of His story. His faithfulness is the chorus of our lifelong hymn.
Each year brings the both/and, Both reasons to celebrate the joys of blessings And seasons to lament unbearable testings. Still, He is the Father who always extends His hand.
He rejoices with me in the days of sun And weeps with me in the shadow of sorrow. His work is never done. His kindness is the sunrise of all my tomorrows.
In Him, all things hold together, He holds my hand no matter the weather. So when it comes to deciding to go left or right, Anxiety flees, for He is my guiding Light.
Crossroads will come throughout my days, But when I walk hand in hand with my King, My worries begin to fade. Walking with Him is everything.
Words escape you. The leaders you trusted let you down. The reasons vary, as do the weight of those scenarios. You, like many in Christian circles, have experienced church hurt. But the question is, “now what?” Do you ignore the hurt and pretend like everything is ok? Do you tell everyone you know, so they will understand how you’ve been wronged? While our gut reactions may initially lean in one of those ways, those emotional responses still leave us with unresolved aches and wounds that time does not heal. In fact, they can grow worse or infected. How do we walk through church hurt? How can God use that in our lives?
The Blind Side
However complex or hurtful the scenario, one commonality is this: we didn’t see it coming. The pastors and leaders we confided in, trusted, and admired, committed an act we never anticipated. But sometimes in that mountain of emotion, we experience a shame that’s hard to put into words, especially at the onset. Why didn’t we see this coming? How did we miss the signs? Am I too trusting of people, of church leaders? Did all of this really happen or are things being blown out of proportion? We have questions. We may even be in denial of what has happened, trying to lessen the reality/pain of the situation.
Admit what’s been hurtful.
When church leaders step down or are asked to step down, everyone has questions; everyone is taken aback by the unexpected turn of events. Some situations are public with clear reasons, and others are vague and confusing. Maybe a church leader acted in a hurtful way, said sincerely unkind words, or held people to too high of a standard. Perhaps, as one of the singles in the church, you’ve been overlooked time and time again by the leaders who, from the stage, confess that every person in every season of life has a valuable place in the church. Or further still, maybe they grievously sinned against you and others in a way that requires confession and restoration if the church has any hope of continuing.
In short, their words didn’t match their actions. The question is, have you expressed to the Lord why the situation holds such weight or anger for you? For many of us, someone we trusted and confided in, someone we looked up to as an example, failed. We feel the pangs of sincere disappointment.
But how we respond to the hurt makes all the difference.
Grieve with the Lord
The Lord is near to all who call upon Him in truth (Ps.145:18). However messy or cynical we may feel, we must acknowledge those feelings to the Lord. In situations like this, that’s easier said than done. But healing can’t come if we don’t expose the wound to our Physician. What we need most are not explanations or even apologies from those who have wronged us (although the Lord deeply values reconciliation). Our Heavenly Father is the only one that can provide lasting healing.
But we often push against this because it’s vulnerable. We often like to feel in control of our own emotions and thoughts, but the Psalms teach us to pray through our emotions. David said in Psalm 25, “My problems go from bad to worse. Oh, save me from them all!Feel my pain and see my trouble.” Later, in chapter 88, the psalmist ends by saying darkness is his closest friend. God wants the raw and the messy, for in so doing we are trusting the Lord with all our heart and not leaning on our own understanding.
Examine Our Own Hearts
Bitterness and resentment can often be hard to see in the middle of such a trial, but the temptation to pass the buck comes so naturally to our sinful hearts. Excuses begin. We no longer want to come to church, to open up in our small group, to serve. Maybe we just need a break from church.
Those are serious warning signs for us to examine, probing some further examination. Am I coming to church to follow men or to follow Jesus? Sin needs to be dealt with, and leaders need to be held accountable for their wrongs. God deeply cares about us having the right leaders – they should be trustworthy people (just look at the list of qualifications in 1 Tim. 3!). But is it possible my dependence on human leaders has exceeded my dependence on God and His Word?
As with any trial, we must ask ourselves if we trust God in His sovereignty. The reality is, however hurtful or complicated the situation, God allowed us to experience it. Does that reality bring comfort or anger? The answer reveals the current posture of our hearts. But oh what security comes from resting in God’s sovereignty.
The reality of God’s sovereignty is the fear-incinerating, boldness-making, perseverance-producing antidote to everything that would ever trouble us.
Adam Ramsey, Truth on Fire
The Bad Doesn’t Erase the Good
One complex element of church hurt people experience is the realization, in the aftermath, that some significant, life-changing events occurred during their time in that church: they came to Christ, their mentor baptized them there, they received Gospel-centered counseling that brought rich healing, they experienced the beauty of the godly community… those precious chapters in our lives don’t become any less valuable. Hurt can add complexity to certain memories, but that doesn’t erase the fruit God produced in us during that season.
